Can't sit still at dinner

What to do right now

They're moving because their body needs to. A direct conflict about sitting still at the table is going to cost more than it gains. Let them eat standing, or at the end of the table with more space, or with a fidget tool under the table. The goal is eating together. The goal is not perfect stillness.

What your brain just did

Your body

They're moving, fidgeting, tipping the chair, leaving the table. It's disruptive and exhausting and it happens every single meal.

Your brain

The ADHD nervous system requires more sensory input to maintain optimal arousal. Sitting still is the opposite of what their body needs. The fidgeting isn't defiance. It's their nervous system generating the stimulation it requires to function.

What this did

Movement helps them regulate, not the opposite. A wobble cushion, standing at the table, or a fidget tool can satisfy the movement need without the chair-tipping. Shorter meals with permission to move afterward work better than longer meals with forced stillness.

What your child is experiencing

Their body

Their body needs to move. Sitting still requires active suppression of movement impulses, which costs executive function. They are spending cognitive energy on not moving instead of on eating or talking.

Their brain

The ADHD nervous system requires more sensory and motor input to maintain optimal arousal. Movement is self-regulation, not misbehaviour. The fidgeting, the chair-tipping, the under-table kicking are their body generating the stimulation their brain needs to function.

What they need

Allow movement that does not disrupt. Wobble cushion, standing at the table, shorter meals with permission to move between courses. They are more regulated when moving than when forced to be still.