I found hidden dirty underwear and I do not know how to react

What to do right now

They hid it because the shame of the accident was worse than the risk of being caught. The hiding is avoidance, not deception. React to this with less than they expect. 'I found these. Let us put them in the wash. No big deal.' The calmer your response, the less likely they are to hide next time. The goal is making honesty safer than hiding.

What your brain just did

Your body

The hidden underwear is the evidence of a problem they could not face. The shame of the accident was bigger than the shame of hiding.

Your brain

Avoidance of shame is a powerful ADHD driver. The hiding was the path of least immediate emotional cost. Long-term consequences were discounted in favour of short-term shame avoidance.

What this did

Make the discovery a non-event. 'Found these, no big deal, into the wash.' Your calm reaction this time determines whether they hide or tell you next time.