They smell bad but will not shower or use deodorant

What to do right now

They cannot smell what you smell. Olfactory habituation means they have adapted to their own scent. The shower requires task initiation, sensory tolerance of water pressure and temperature, and a multi-step sequence. Every part of that is harder with ADHD. Make the routine shorter. Offer a choice of how, not whether. A three-minute shower with no hair washing is better than no shower at all. Build the habit before adding the steps.

What your brain just did

Your body

They cannot smell themselves. They resist the shower. The social consequences are starting to arrive.

Your brain

Olfactory habituation means they genuinely do not detect their own scent. The shower requires sensory tolerance plus a multi-step sequence, both of which ADHD impairs. The resistance is avoidance of a genuinely uncomfortable sensory experience.

What this did

Reduce the shower demand. Three minutes, no hair wash, their choice of products. Build the habit at the lowest possible threshold. Add steps gradually once the routine is established.