They boss other kids around and then feel rejected

What to do right now

They want to control the game because uncertainty is intolerable for their nervous system. When other children do not comply, they feel rejected, not corrected. The bossiness is an anxiety response, not a power grab. Teach the specific skill: 'Other kids want to choose too. Try asking what they want to play.' Role-play taking turns leading. The skill exists. It just needs building.

What your brain just did

Your body

They need to control the game because uncertainty is intolerable. When other children do not comply, they feel rejected.

Your brain

The bossiness is anxiety-driven control-seeking, not a power grab. Uncertainty about social outcomes activates threat responses. Controlling the game is an attempt to control the anxiety.

What this did

Teach the specific skill: 'Try asking what they want to play.' Role-play turn-taking. The control impulse decreases as the social confidence increases.