When they won't follow instructions or seem to be ignoring you

What to do right now

They probably heard you. They may genuinely be unable to act on it yet. "Not listening" in ADHD is usually a working memory or activation problem, not a hearing problem. Before repeating louder, get close — within an arm's reach — and use their name once before the instruction. Touch a shoulder lightly if that's comfortable for them. Then the instruction. Once.

What your brain just did

Your body

Repeated non-compliance builds a specific kind of frustration. Each repetition increases your arousal. By the fourth ask, your nervous system is primed to escalate.

Your brain

Your child's working memory may have genuinely lost the instruction between hearing it and acting on it. ADHD working memory holds fewer items and for a shorter duration. They heard you. They couldn't hold it.

What this did

Physical proximity and one instruction at a time. Walk to them, make eye contact, give one step. This bypasses the working memory gap.

What your child is experiencing

Their body

They heard you. The sound reached their ears. But the instruction did not make it from hearing to doing. The gap between those two things is where their working memory failed.

Their brain

ADHD working memory holds fewer items for shorter durations. An instruction heard across the room competes with whatever their attention is currently locked on. The instruction entered and dropped out before the motor system could act on it. They are not ignoring you. They lost it.

What they need

Walk to them. Make eye contact. Give one instruction. Wait for acknowledgment. Then the next one. Physical proximity bypasses the working memory gap. Shouting across rooms does not.