When they get physical with their sibling

What to do right now

Physical conflict requires an immediate, calm physical intervention — your body between them, not a verbal consequence from across the room. Move now, don't shout from a distance. "That stops right now." Separate them before any conversation. Physical safety first, understanding second. The explanation comes after the separation, when both systems have had a chance to settle.

What your brain just did

Your body

Seeing your child hurt another child triggers a visceral alarm response. The urgency to intervene physically is real and strong.

Your brain

Physical aggression in ADHD children is usually impulsive, not planned. The prefrontal cortex, which should inhibit the action between the impulse and the hit, didn't fire fast enough.

What this did

They need physical separation and calm. They do not need a lecture about why hitting is wrong. They know. Their brakes failed. The repair and the lesson come after regulation.

What your child is experiencing

Their body

The hit or push happened before their brain could stop it. The impulse travelled from feeling to fist faster than the inhibition system could intervene. They may already be shocked at what they did.

Their brain

The prefrontal cortex is supposed to inhibit physical action between the impulse and the behaviour. In ADHD, this brake is the most impaired function. The younger the child, the less developed the brake. They know hitting is wrong. Their brakes failed.

What they need

Physical separation and calm. Not a lecture about why hitting is wrong. They know. Their brakes failed, not their values. The repair and the teaching come after regulation, when the prefrontal cortex is back online.