When you said the thing that caused real damage

What to do right now

You said it and you can't unsay it. Right now, stop. Don't explain, justify or add more words — that makes it larger. If they're still in the room: "I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry." One sentence. Not a speech. Later, when both of you are calm, a proper repair. But first: stop adding words.

What your brain just did

Your body

Your stomach dropped. You can feel the words sitting in the room. The damage is done and your body knows it.

Your brain

ADHD impulsivity applies to speech as well as action. The words left your mouth before your prefrontal cortex could filter them. This is the verbal equivalent of acting before thinking.

What this did

The repair matters more than the mistake. A clean, brief acknowledgment when both of you are calm. Not an extended apology. Not a promise you might not keep. Two sentences and a return to normal.

What your child is experiencing

Their body

They heard the words and their body absorbed the impact before their brain could process the meaning. Their nervous system registered danger from the person who is supposed to be safe.

Their brain

Children's amygdala responds to parental tone and volume before processing content. The words you said may have been true, but the delivery activated threat circuits. Their brain is now processing the emotional experience, not the message.

What they need

Space first, then a two-sentence repair when both of you are calm. Not an extended apology. Not an explanation. 'I said something I should not have. That was not okay.' Then return to normal. The repair is in the return to normal, not in the speech.