Getting out the door for the fun thing fell apart too

What to do right now

Getting out the door for something fun should be easier and it is not. The anticipation creates a dopamine spike that makes the boring preparation steps even harder. They want to go. They cannot do the steps to get there. Help them with the logistics without resentment. Their excitement and their executive function are working against each other.

What your brain just did

Your body

The irony stings. It is the fun thing and they still cannot get out the door. Your tolerance for the delay is lower because the destination is something you did for them.

Your brain

Anticipation creates a dopamine spike that makes the boring preparation steps even harder. The excitement about the destination and the executive function needed to get there are in direct opposition. They want to go. They cannot do the steps.

What this did

Help with the logistics without resentment. Lay out the clothes. Pack the bag. Walk them through it. Their excitement is not enough fuel for the executive function. Your scaffolding is.

What your child is experiencing

Their body

They are excited and they cannot get ready. The excitement and the executive function are working against each other. They want to go. They cannot do the boring steps to get there.

Their brain

Anticipation creates a dopamine spike that makes the mundane preparation steps even harder to initiate. The contrast between the exciting destination and the boring logistics is neurologically paralysing.

What they need

Help with the logistics. Lay out clothes, pack the bag, walk them through step by step. Their excitement is not fuel for executive function. It is actually interference. Your scaffolding gets them there.