They won't stop touching their sibling and it's about to blow

What to do right now

The poking, grabbing, and space-invading is impulsive sensory-seeking, not deliberate provocation. They are not trying to start a fight. Their body needs input and their sibling is the nearest source. Redirect the sensory need. Give them something to do with their hands. Separate them before it escalates, not after.

What your brain just did

Your body

The pre-escalation provocation is testing your ability to intervene before it becomes a fight. You can feel the explosion coming. The tension in the room is building.

Your brain

Impulsive touch and space-invading is sensory-seeking behaviour. The sibling is the nearest source of proprioceptive input. They are not trying to start a fight. Their body needs input and their sibling is available.

What this did

Redirect before it escalates. Give them something to do with their hands. Move them to a different part of the room. Intervene early and the intervention can be small. Wait until the fight starts and the intervention has to be large.

What your child is experiencing

Their body

The poking and space-invading is their body seeking sensory input. The sibling is the nearest available source. They are not trying to start a fight. Their body has a need they cannot articulate.

Their brain

Proprioceptive-seeking behaviour uses physical contact to generate the sensory input the nervous system requires. The sibling is available, responsive, and provides unpredictable input, which is neurologically stimulating.

What they need

Redirect the sensory need. Something to squeeze, push, or press against. A cushion fight with rules. Physical activity that satisfies the input need without a victim. The need is valid. The target needs to change.