Overcorrecting with affection right after losing it
ADHD parent behaviour
After a dysregulation event the ADHD brain often swings to the opposite extreme, and guilt drives a repair urge far bigger than what your child needs, so the flood of warmth is really asking them to reassure you. It can leave them unsure which version of you to trust. Keep the repair brief and calm: I'm sorry I got so upset, let's do something ordinary. Then do the ordinary thing.
What to do right now
The rush of warmth you're feeling right now is your guilt, not your child's need. The best repair is not more intensity, it's a calm, brief return to normal. One simple sentence: "I'm sorry I got so upset. Let's do something ordinary." Then do the ordinary thing. Less is more in the aftermath.
What your brain just did
Your body
The warmth you're pouring out right now isn't just love. It's your nervous system trying to undo what just happened. The urgency to fix it is as strong as the impulse that caused it.
Your brain
After an emotional dysregulation event, ADHD brains often swing to the opposite extreme. The guilt activates a repair drive that's disproportionate to what the child actually needs. You're not just reconnecting. You're asking them to reassure you.
What this did
Your child needs a brief, calm acknowledgment, not an emotional flood in the other direction. The over-correction can be confusing for them. They don't know which version of you to trust.