A relative said it's just bad parenting
ADHD parent behaviour
The comment cut deep because ADHD rejection sensitivity routes it through threat circuits, not simple disagreement, and it landed on the self-doubt you already carry. The pain is neurological, not thin skin. They are not right, but explaining ADHD to someone who rejects it rarely works in the moment. You do not owe them an education tonight. Protect your child, limit the exposure, and process the hurt elsewhere.
What to do right now
The comment landed like a blade because it hit the part of you that already wonders if they are right. They are not right. But explaining ADHD to someone who does not believe in it is rarely productive in the heat of the moment. You do not owe them an education tonight. Protect your child. Limit the exposure. Process the hurt separately.
What your brain just did
Your body
The comment cut deep because it hit the self-doubt you already carry. The external criticism confirmed the internal critic you have been fighting.
Your brain
ADHD rejection sensitivity means the relative's words activated threat circuits, not just disagreement. The pain is neurological, not just emotional. You are not being thin-skinned. You are experiencing RSD in a context that matters deeply.
What this did
You do not owe them a defence of ADHD tonight. Protect your child from their ignorance. Process the hurt with someone who understands. You are not a bad parent. They are an uninformed relative.