I keep comparing them to other kids and hating myself for it

What to do right now

You watched the other child at the party and measured yours against them. The 'easy' child who sits still, follows instructions, transitions without drama. The grief hit and then the shame of feeling it. Both are valid. Your child is not less than. They are running harder software on the same hardware. The comparison tells you something about your exhaustion, not about their worth.

What your brain just did

Your body

The comparison landed as grief. The other child looked easy. Yours looked hard. The gap between them felt like your failure.

Your brain

Comparison activates the ADHD rejection sensitivity circuit. The grief is not really about the other child. It is about the gap between the parenting experience you expected and the one you have.

What this did

Your child is not less than. Their operating system is different. The comparison tells you something about your depletion, not their worth. Close the comparison window.