I'm resentful of how much harder my life is

What to do right now

You love them and you resent the load. Both are true at the same time and neither cancels the other. The resentment is not about them. It is about the structural reality that parenting an ADHD child with your own ADHD brain is relentlessly, measurably harder. Naming resentment is not the same as acting on it. Let it exist without letting it define you.

What your brain just did

Your body

The resentment sits alongside the love. Both are real. The guilt about feeling resentful adds a third layer on top.

Your brain

Resentment in chronically stressed caregivers is a documented burnout symptom, not a moral failing. The load is measurably, structurally heavier than typical parenting. Your feelings are a proportionate response to a disproportionate demand.

What this did

Naming resentment is the first step to managing it. You can love your child and resent the load at the same time. Both are true. Neither cancels the other. What helps is reducing the load, not denying the feeling.