I found out they have been bullied and I do not know what to do
ADHD parent behaviour
The discovery fires a primal protective response, and your own history of rejection amplifies the pain because you know how exclusion feels. That overlap can push you to act for yourself rather than for them, so separate the two first. Ask your child what they need before deciding anything, then contact the school calmly and specifically. Regulated, fierce advocacy teaches them problems get solved without panic.
What to do right now
The discovery that your child has been bullied activates a primal protective response amplified by your own rejection sensitivity. You want to fix it, fight it, remove them from the situation. Before you act, listen. Ask what they need, not what you want to do. Contact the school calmly and specifically. Your child needs to see you regulated while you advocate fiercely.
What your brain just did
Your body
The primal protective response is running at full intensity. Your own rejection sensitivity is amplifying the pain because you know what it feels like to be excluded.
Your brain
Your ADHD history of social rejection may be compounding your response to your child's bullying. You are processing their current pain through the lens of your own past wounds. Separate the two before you act.
What this did
Listen first. Ask what they need. Contact the school specifically and calmly. Your regulated advocacy teaches them that problems can be addressed without panic.