I found out they have been bullied and I do not know what to do

What to do right now

The discovery that your child has been bullied activates a primal protective response amplified by your own rejection sensitivity. You want to fix it, fight it, remove them from the situation. Before you act, listen. Ask what they need, not what you want to do. Contact the school calmly and specifically. Your child needs to see you regulated while you advocate fiercely.

What your brain just did

Your body

The primal protective response is running at full intensity. Your own rejection sensitivity is amplifying the pain because you know what it feels like to be excluded.

Your brain

Your ADHD history of social rejection may be compounding your response to your child's bullying. You are processing their current pain through the lens of your own past wounds. Separate the two before you act.

What this did

Listen first. Ask what they need. Contact the school specifically and calmly. Your regulated advocacy teaches them that problems can be addressed without panic.