The school told me my child bullied someone

What to do right now

The call you never expected. Your child hurt another child, not physically but with words, exclusion, or cruelty. The shame is enormous. But ADHD impulsivity means the behaviour may have been less calculated than it looks from outside. Ask specifically what happened. Talk to your child without horror on your face. Address the behaviour, repair with the other family, and use it to build the skill they are missing.

What your brain just did

Your body

The shame is visceral. Your child hurt someone and the label 'bully' is landing on both of you.

Your brain

ADHD impulsivity means the behaviour may have been less planned and more reactive than typical bullying. This does not excuse it but it changes the intervention. Impulse-driven cruelty responds to skill-building. Calculated cruelty responds to consequences.

What this did

Get the specific facts. Talk to your child without horror. Address the behaviour, repair with the other family, and identify the skill gap. Were they seeking social status? Discharging frustration? Mimicking behaviour they experienced? The why determines the how.