Report card day and I am bracing for the worst
ADHD parent behaviour
A report card measures the gap between what school expects and what an ADHD brain delivers. It never captures effort, which stays invisible and enormous, and reading grades as a verdict on your parenting is rejection sensitivity, not fact. Read it once, then put it away. Keep only the specific data, which subjects and skills and contexts, to guide support. The grades describe environment fit, not worth.
What to do right now
You are opening the report card and your body is already bracing. The comments will say 'could try harder,' 'easily distracted,' 'does not complete work.' You know the translation: their ADHD is showing and the school is measuring the symptom, not the effort. Read it once. Put it away. The grades are data about the school environment, not about your child's worth or your parenting.
What your brain just did
Your body
Your body is bracing for the familiar words. 'Does not complete work.' 'Easily distracted.' 'Could try harder.' The report card feels like a judgment of both of you.
Your brain
The report card measures the gap between what the system expects and what the ADHD brain provides. It does not measure effort, which is invisible and enormous. Your rejection sensitivity processes the grades as a reflection of your parenting.
What this did
Read it once. Put it away. The useful data is specific: which subjects, which skills, which contexts. Use that to guide support. The grades are information about the environment fit, not about your child's worth.