Report card day and I am bracing for the worst

What to do right now

You are opening the report card and your body is already bracing. The comments will say 'could try harder,' 'easily distracted,' 'does not complete work.' You know the translation: their ADHD is showing and the school is measuring the symptom, not the effort. Read it once. Put it away. The grades are data about the school environment, not about your child's worth or your parenting.

What your brain just did

Your body

Your body is bracing for the familiar words. 'Does not complete work.' 'Easily distracted.' 'Could try harder.' The report card feels like a judgment of both of you.

Your brain

The report card measures the gap between what the system expects and what the ADHD brain provides. It does not measure effort, which is invisible and enormous. Your rejection sensitivity processes the grades as a reflection of your parenting.

What this did

Read it once. Put it away. The useful data is specific: which subjects, which skills, which contexts. Use that to guide support. The grades are information about the environment fit, not about your child's worth.