I am scared of my child during violent outbursts

What to do right now

Being scared of your own child is one of the most isolating experiences in parenting. You cannot say it to anyone because it sounds like you are failing. You are not failing. A child in a violent meltdown is genuinely frightening and your fear response is proportionate. Prioritise physical safety. Yours and theirs. If the outbursts are escalating, this needs professional support. Not because you cannot handle it. Because no one should have to handle it alone.

What your brain just did

Your body

The fear is real. During the outburst, you were genuinely frightened. The admission feels like a failure.

Your brain

A child in a violent meltdown activates the parent's threat detection system appropriately. The fear is proportionate to the physical reality, regardless of the child's intention.

What this did

Safety planning for violent meltdowns is a reasonable, responsible step. This is not about blame. It is about keeping everyone safe. Professional support can help build de-escalation strategies.