I protected the sibling and now I feel like I rejected my ADHD child

What to do right now

You stepped in to protect the sibling and your ADHD child felt rejected. Both children needed you and you could only serve one in that moment. The guilt is the impossibility of the situation, not a failure of your parenting. Later, go to the ADHD child: 'I stopped you because your sibling was getting hurt. I love you. Those two things are both true.' They need to hear both parts.

What your brain just did

Your body

You protected one child and the other felt rejected. The impossibility of serving both needs simultaneously is crushing.

Your brain

Both children needed you in the same moment. The intervention for one was perceived as rejection by the other. This is structural, not a parenting failure.

What this did

Go back to the ADHD child after: 'I stopped you because your sibling was getting hurt. I love you. Both of those are true.' They need to hear both parts.