A self-guided program from ADHD Reflect

Both of You

A self-guided program for the household where two ADHD nervous systems
are in the same four walls at the same time.

Start for $49

One payment. Works on any device. No live sessions.

It's 5.47pm. Your kid is losing it. You know exactly what you're supposed to do.

You do the opposite anyway.

That gap between knowing and doing is not a character flaw. It has a specific explanation. And it's the thing every other parenting course ignores.

Every book, every article, every calm parent on Instagram shares one assumption: the adult in the room is the regulated one.

When you also have ADHD, that assumption is wrong. And when it's wrong, the advice doesn't just fail. It makes you feel worse for not being able to follow it.

Both of You is built for the household where two ADHD nervous systems are in the same four walls at the same time.

What makes this different
Every other course
  • Assumes the parent is the regulated adult
  • Teaches strategies that require working memory under pressure
  • Treats consistency as a realistic goal
  • Was written for a different household
Both of You
  • Starts from the correct premise: both of you have ADHD
  • Teaches what to do in the 30 seconds you actually have
  • Built for the days when you have nothing left
  • Written by a parent with ADHD raising a child with ADHD
What you'll understand differently
Why you lose it at 5pm
The mask you hold at work comes off the moment you walk in the door. That's not weakness. That's the cost of masking all day.
Why they save the worst for you
The meltdown at the front door isn't targeting you. It's trust. You're the safe person. That doesn't make it easier to absorb.
Why you can't stop the argument
Your brain is chasing closure it can't have right now. Knowing that is the first step to getting out earlier next time.
Why the repair matters more than the moment
Two sentences. Delivered when you're both calm. That's the whole repair. Most ADHD parents skip it. This course is built around doing it.
Why the morning keeps collapsing
The laminated chart lasted eleven days. Not because you gave up. Because the system had too many invisible steps for one ADHD brain to hold.
Why you leave even when you stay
Emotional withdrawal isn't indifference. It's what happens when your system runs out and has no safe exit. There's a name for it. And a way back.
What's included
20
text-based modules, each 10–18 minutes. Readable on a phone. Most people read 8–12 based on their pattern, but all 20 are yours.
8
modules suggested first based on your quiz pattern: foundation modules plus pattern-specific ones matched to how your ADHD shows up.
20
right now cards, one per module. Print them. Put them on your fridge. They're the tool for the moment, not just the module.
20
if-then plans, one per module, written by you in your own words for your specific household. The plan for the next time it happens.
20
interactive experiments. Each module has a structured exercise that makes the concept personal before you leave the page.
1
personalised summary card at the end, built from your own reflections. Something worth keeping.
The 20 modules
Foundation. Everyone starts here
  1. Why nothing you've tried has actually fixed it
  2. What your body does before your brain catches up
  3. What's happening inside your child when they fall apart
  4. When both of you go under at the same time
  5. The repair. It matters more than the moment.
Your pattern. Your quiz result suggests which to read first
  1. There's a moment before you snap, and how to find it Reactor
  2. Fewer words. Lower temperature. Reactor
  3. Why the morning keeps collapsing Juggler
  4. One routine you can actually keep Juggler
  5. Why you can't stop once it starts Looper
  6. How to stop without feeling like you lost Looper
  7. The two hours after you lost it Spiraller
  8. Getting from the spiral to the repair Spiraller
  9. Why you leave even when you stay Escaper
  10. The small return Escaper
The wider household
  1. You were in the same room. You have completely different versions.
  2. The child who isn't struggling out loud
  3. The school sees the behaviour. You see the child underneath it.
  4. When ADHD doesn't explain all of it
  5. You don't need to be consistent. You need to catch it slightly earlier.
How it works
1
Take the quiz, if you haven't already. It identifies your parenting pattern and your first five modules are suggested from that.
2
Read in fragments. Each module is 10–18 minutes on a phone. You don't need to sit down. You don't need to be in a good headspace.
3
Do the experiment and write your plan. Each module has a structured exercise and an if-then plan written in your words. Not graded. Saved privately.
4
Take the card. Each module has a right now card with one script for the next hard moment. Copy it, print it, put it where you'll see it.
5
Come back when you're ready. No streaks. No you're-behind states. The module map remembers where you left off.

Both of You is not therapy and not a clinical intervention. It's structured practical content grounded in published ADHD research, written by a parent with ADHD raising a child with ADHD. If you need professional support, the resources page can help you find it.

Questions you probably have
Is this therapy?

No. It's structured practical content grounded in published ADHD research, written by a parent with ADHD raising a child with ADHD. If you need clinical support, the resources page can help you find it. Both can be true at once: many people do this alongside therapy.

What ages does it cover?

The core dynamics apply from roughly age 4 through the teens. The scripts and examples skew primary-school age, but the parent half of the program is about your nervous system, and that doesn't have an age limit.

What if neither of us has a formal diagnosis?

That's fine. If the moments on this page sound like your house, the content will fit. Nothing in the program requires a diagnosis, and nothing in it diagnoses you.

How long do I have access?

It's a one-time payment with lifetime access. No subscription, no renewal, no streaks. Come back in six months and everything is exactly where you left it.

What if it's not for me?

Email us within 14 days and we'll refund you in full. No form, no questions, no awkwardness.

Both of You
$49 USD
One payment. Lifetime access. All 20 modules.

You'll get an access link by email straight after payment.
No account needed. No password to remember. Works on any device.

If it's not what you expected, email us within 14 days for a full refund.
Already purchased?

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Not sure if this is for you?

Take the free parenting pattern quiz first →

It takes 3 minutes. It's free. And it tells you which pattern modules are most relevant for your household.